Please Be Gentle With Yourself

I have found myself writing and/or saying those words to an unusually large number of people in recent months. 

All in response to trauma, stress, fear, illness, worry or the loss of a loved one.

According to Chinese Medicine, Autumn is the time for grief and awe, for choosing the valuable jewels to keep in your pocket and letting the rest go. Many people let go of life in the fall, leaving the rest of us to grieve and cherish the gifts worth keeping. My mentor and friend, BobDuggan, the one who taught me this, passed away this fall. I am thankful daily for the many gifts he gave me and am inspired anew to share them with the world.

Now, we begin the plunge into the holiday season and Winter is making itself known. It is the season of courage and fear, quietly facing the unknown and being willing to sit in deep, dark, stillness with it. Letting our resources rebuild until we're ready to rise back up in the Spring. Unlike the chaos many of us have designed for ourselves this time of year. 

As as a result, this transition we're in, between letting go and unknowing, is often a struggle for many in our culture. We seem to think that we should be on the go constantly, happy constantly, no time to reflect. And yet, nothing in nature does that. What makes us think we're exempt? I'm seeing a lot of illness and dis-ease in my treatment room due that struggle. Helping people let go and open back up to that deep, revitalizing stillness is a huge part of my work these days.

It seems to me that it's no mistake that the presidential election is at this transitional time of year. It is our nation's time to choose what/who is valuable and let the rest drop away. It sets the tone for the future, just as fall and winter in the natural world does for spring.

Many old wounds are being lanced of late in our world. So much pain. So much suffering. So much ugliness. As we mend and recover, may we come to cherish what's valuable while letting go of what's not. May we sit quietly together, listening, as we repair these old wounds, not knowing what will come of it.

May we show simple kindness to ourselves. And others. Rebuilding our community, one moment at a time. Not in reaction, just quietly being with each other. The equivalent of my (southern) culture's tradition of just showing up with a ham and quietly doing the dishes. This is how we will heal and grow together.

So, please… be gentle with yourself.

Until next time,

Janice

p.s. Feel free to drop me a note or give me a call if I can be of help to you during this time. ~ jc

Please Be Gentle With Yourself

I have found myself writing and/or saying those words to an unusually large number of people in recent months. 

All in response to trauma, stress, fear, illness, worry or the loss of a loved one.

According to Chinese Medicine, Autumn is the time for grief and awe, for choosing the valuable jewels to keep in your pocket and letting the rest go. Many people let go of life in the fall, leaving the rest of us to grieve and cherish the gifts worth keeping. My mentor and friend, BobDuggan, the one who taught me this, passed away this fall. I am thankful daily for the many gifts he gave me and am inspired anew to share them with the world.

Now, we begin the plunge into the holiday season and Winter is making itself known. It is the season of courage and fear, quietly facing the unknown and being willing to sit in deep, dark, stillness with it. Letting our resources rebuild until we're ready to rise back up in the Spring. Unlike the chaos many of us have designed for ourselves this time of year. 

As as a result, this transition we're in, between letting go and unknowing, is often a struggle for many in our culture. We seem to think that we should be on the go constantly, happy constantly, no time to reflect. And yet, nothing in nature does that. What makes us think we're exempt? I'm seeing a lot of illness and dis-ease in my treatment room due that struggle. Helping people let go and open back up to that deep, revitalizing stillness is a huge part of my work these days.

It seems to me that it's no mistake that the presidential election is at this transitional time of year. It is our nation's time to choose what/who is valuable and let the rest drop away. It sets the tone for the future, just as fall and winter in the natural world does for spring.

Many old wounds are being lanced of late in our world. So much pain. So much suffering. So much ugliness. As we mend and recover, may we come to cherish what's valuable while letting go of what's not. May we sit quietly together, listening, as we repair these old wounds, not knowing what will come of it.

May we show simple kindness to ourselves. And others. Rebuilding our community, one moment at a time. Not in reaction, just quietly being with each other. The equivalent of my (southern) culture's tradition of just showing up with a ham and quietly doing the dishes. This is how we will heal and grow together.

So, please… be gentle with yourself.

Until next time,

Janice

p.s. Feel free to drop me a note or give me a call if I can be of help to you during this time. ~ jc

A Conundrum

When a friend recently asked how I would feel when a certain difficult situation was resolved, I responded by saying:

"I really, really want to get the pebble out of my shoe. I'm just concerned that once it's gone, I will forget that I have feet."

In the face of difficulty and hostility, we have the opportunity to become aware of ease and kindness. I know it sounds backwards. However, by their very absence, we become aware of them missing. And we have the chance to find the better parts of ourselves to counter them.

Of course, we can choose the knee-jerk reaction of meeting like with like. You yell at me, I'll yell at you. And in the end, that gets us nowhere. Just more unhappy.

We can also choose to bottle up that same reaction and cause physical and emotional harm to ourselves and those around us as it leaks out. Still not useful.

Alternately, struggling with meanness and self-absorption in another can allow us to face these same things in ourselves and eradicate them. To acknowledge the demonstration in another of what we are also capable of. And yes, Virginia, we are all capable of some pretty heinous acts - as well as some very tender ones.

Easily 20 years ago at my house, we were watching a PBS special about WWII. In it, there was a black & white clip of Hitler playing with his dogs. He was laughing and smiling and his dogs were bouncing around, tails wagging. A happy scene. I was stunned. It had never occurred to me that Hitler was anything but cruel and hateful. Dogs are pretty good judges of character, though, and apparently, to those two, Adolf was a nice guy - as appalling as it sounds.

We all have it in us. And we forget that to our own peril. As they say, those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Since seeing that documentary, a saying has evolved in our house. When faced with someone or a situation that we find hateful or mean, we remind each other that "Hitler loved his dogs." Shorthand for "We are all capable of great good or great evil. It is our responsibility to choose wisely."

Having said that, in this current situation that I and my family have been wrestling with, I find that I have reached the point where I just want it to go away. Unfortunately, I am afraid that the better selves that it has called us to be, will also be forgotten once it's gone. There is more than one way to live "in reaction to".

So, now, my practice, is to consciously thank the pebble while it remains... and mindfully prepare to remember my feet once it's gone.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Finally, as an old friend said to me, :Very deep grasshopper! Make someone try and 'snatch the pebble from your hand' after you take it from your shoe. :)" 

Wax on, wax off....

Until next time....

peace,

Janice

Anger Can Poison People - What's the Antidote?

I have recently spent a good amount of time with an older woman who has spent much of her life steeped in anger, colored by fear and grief, and it has poisoned her. It’s a really a tragic situation.

According to Chinese Medicine bottling up our anger causes stagnant Liver Qi. The Liver, aside from its western responsibilities of filtering toxins and such, is energetically responsible for our smooth flow of emotions – specifically anger and kindness. It’s in charge of our muscles & tendons, our ability to handle details, planning, & follow-through. As part of our Wood energy – the Liver provides motive force – similar to that which pushes the bulb up out of the ground in Springtime. It fuels our vision through our eyeballs and through our mind’s eye. Our hope for the future, our creativity – all come from this same energetic.

So, when we bottle it up, it stagnates. Like a plant kept in a glass jar. It struggles to reach the light and ends up balled up on itself and trapped. In a worse case scenario, it rots, destroying itself.

And in humans, not only can it affect our health, it can become infectious to others, if we’re not careful.

After prolonged exposure to the woman I mentioned above, I found myself getting angrier and angrier. And since I didn’t act on that anger to move it forward into something productive, it got heavier and heavier to carry. I could feel it in my joints. I was getting more frequent headaches. My ability to plan for the future was impaired. I was sighing a lot and lacking motivation and worst of all, I was sharing it with everyone around me, griping and unhappy.

Our society does not know how to get angry effectively – especially women. Anger, in & of itself, is not a bad thing – as long as it fuels growth towards the light. As long as it supports and rectifies the idea that “something is wrong here and I need to do something about it.” 

Practicing directing that aggressive urge into productive growth is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves and it could save our lives.

So, what did I do with all that bottled up Liver Qi? I took action. I took myself for a walk and then I spoke my mind, clearly and concisely. I was specific about what was and was not acceptable and what needed to change for things to continue in a healthy manner. I did not rage at her and yet, I let her know that things could not persist the way they were, they had to change.

I feel a lot better. My body is moving easier and suddenly, there is more room in my head for other things. I am able to move forward in partnership and kindness with this woman and sincerely mean it.

Did she like it? No. It made her mad. But it also seemed to lance a boil of anger for her. It allowed her to go ahead and feel it outright and release at least a little bit of the pressure building up inside her.

My next goal: talk her into acupuncture. It could relieve more of that stagnation and help her live more smoothly in her own skin, reducing her negative effect on those around her.

We all get toxic sometimes, even during Summer, the time of joyful partnership in the Fire energetic. Being able to move smoothly from that sudden urgent push of Spring into the joyous partnership of Fire isn’t always easy for some people. 

So, if you’re feeling pent up or frustrated, take yourself dancing – even if it’s in your own living room. Find ways to act on those impulses that allows for more creativity and joy and partnership in the world.

And call me for some acupuncture, if you need a little help getting started. I’m here to help.

Happy Summer Everybody!

(and please share this with anyone you think will benefit)

peace,

Janice

Pacing

We have been car-less for nearly two weeks now & it has inspired me to review how I move through the world - literally. 

With the exception of short term car rentals on the weekends to enable me to reach my teaching gig, the whole family has been busing everywhere. And one thing, I've learned is that riding public transportation is a very trenchant example of how outlook is everything. 

I have found it to be relaxing and a wonderful way of forcing me to slow down. It also requires me to really decide what is essential that I carry with me. Do I really need to pack for every natural disaster?! I'm sure I can find a place to buy a bandaid if I really need one.

It is also the great equalizer. No matter how you're dressed or where you're going, you are in the same boat/bus with everyone else from every other walk of life. When someone doesn't realize this and fights against it, it also has the power to create camaraderie among the remaining passengers.

One gentleman got on the bus the other day and spent every stop slamming his cane into the ground with aggravation and grumbling at whoever was getting on or off the bus as though they were intentionally going slow in order to make him late. He also barely contained his desire to backseat drive when the bus driver would err on the side of caution. The rest of us at first responded to him in kind, and then with amusement, and finally with offers of help, which he declined. 

In truth, we can either fight against what is - the route the bus is taking, obstacles in our life, someone else's agenda - or we can take the time to be with what is and flow with it as best we can. It doesn't mean we don't continue towards our own destination, it just means we have a better time getting there. 

A friend of mine is currently in the hospital with a severe emphysema attack and we talk about his allowing his body to relax rather than strain against the constriction in his breathing. Tensing against it only makes it worse. I know this from my own asthma attacks in the past. My friend says that when he manages to "take himself to the Grand Canyon" and "breath the big sky", his lungs relax a bit and it is the tiniest bit easier to breathe. He is still up against a terrible illness... and he is practicing flowing with it as best he can.

I think of him, as I sit on the bus, wanting it to move faster to get me where I'm going. And I relax, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Recent Reminders

My own acupuncturist & mentor said to me the other day, “There is nothing in the ancient texts about doing things! It’s all about being. We’re all really just here hanging out between birth & death.”

And he’s right. I had gotten all caught up in my to-do list and a sense of scarcity rather than abundance.

The fact is that there will still be things on the list when we die. There will still be dirty laundry.

And my life is rich with love and possibility.

That’s not to say that there’s not work to be done, food to be prepared, household chores to be maintained... and yet, it’s a completely different approach to think, I’ll just do a few of these things while I’m here hanging out between birth and death.

My 6 yr old son has just started taking capoiera lessons. He loves it. One thing his teacher stresses is the difference between being ice and being water. Ice resists things and gets hurt in the process. Water lets things flow through and around it and remains flexible. Now when we begin to have cross words in our house, my son will say to me, “Momma, be water.” And he’s right. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have to teach him things and guide him toward more positive behavior. It’s the way that I do it that makes the difference. And water gets a much better response than ice – as is true with any of us.

The Tao Teh Ching, chapter 8, begins by saying: “The highest form of goodness is like water. Water knows how to benefit all things without striving with them.”

So, as we face the energetic beginning of Summer this Saturday (May 5^th), I wish for us all a babbling brook of activity and joy and love while we’re hanging out here between birth and death.

Enjoy.

Describing the Elephant: Modern Science & Ancient Wisdom

As an acupuncturist, I have the intellectual hobby of following ideas & discoveries in modern science & medicine and then "translating" them into Chinese Medicine theory - particularly that of the Five Element model.

Yesterday, I was listening to Studio360 on National Public Radio and they did a segment interviewing Adrian Bejan, the founder of Constructal Theory. In short, Constructal Theory says, "For a flow system to persist in time (to survive) it must evolve in such a way that it provides easier and easier access to the currents that flow through it".


In many ways, Constructal Theory speaks to both the art of Feng Shui (the arrangement of items in our environment to create the smoothest & most beneficial flow of energy through a space, which results in a greater sense of comfort & ease) and to what I endeavor to achieve with my patients in the treatment room every day.

I do not profess to fully understand Constructal dynamics at the moment, although I intend to study it further. However, it appears to be addressing the flow of qi both in animate and inanimate forms. While none of us are designed to live forever, acupuncture as a medicine seeks to reduce impediments to one's ability to live as well as possible or in constructal terms, "to evolve in such a way that it provides easier and easier access to the currents [of energy/qi/life] that flow through [us]."

It always tickles me when modern science and ancient energetic wisdom line up like this. We are all, indeed, just the blind men describing the elephant.

I wish you well & thanks for reading.

peace,
Janice

Who Has The Time?

I've been thinking a lot about time lately. When I was little, I'd asked my dad what he wanted for a present and he's always laugh and say, "time". So, one year, I bought him a bottle of "thyme" as a joke - not really understanding why he felt like he had so little.

Later in life, as many of us finally got around to having children in our 40's, I can remember my friend, Steve's remark after the birth of his first child: "Ohmygod, the time I wasted! What was I doing with myself all those years?!"

Now, I've reached a point in my life where I'm beginning to understand how my dad felt. And I am seeking to recapture that sense of timelessness that I had when I was younger. As children, an afternoon lasts a lifetime. Next week might as well be next year. And a year... well, that's an eternity. Children are present to the joy of being alive on a moment by moment basis.

I look at the ever growing "List of Things To Do" and despair of having the time to get it all done. Am I just cramming more into my day? or am I not drilling down into each moment for all its worth? I have a sneaking suspicion that it's the latter. And I know I'm not alone.

As adults, we find ourselves ever tilting forward towards life. "I can't wait for the weekend." "When I retire, I'm going to..." "In my next career...." And the days just blur by, we're exhausted, and we miss so much... until the future finally begins to look a lot shorter and a bit scarier, and we find ourselves looking back. What did we do with all that time? Where were we? Racing to the future. Trapped in the past. Somewhere in between.

Every time my son tells me he hates my cell phone (because I'm often leashed to it), I am reminded of my mother's main piece of parenting advice, "Give your children your time." Life happens right now. In this moment. Don't miss it.

Put down the cell phone and schedule joy first. This is my reminder to myself.

I tell my patients this kind of stuff all the time and I need to hear it too. Today, it was from a patient, who shared his new list of goals with me. They are:

1) Be one with his environment.
2) Understand what people tell and show you, not what you want to see.
3) Be inquisitive.
4) Seek pleasurable experiences.
5) Try new things.

If not now, when?

I'll close with my favorite quote - one that I hope will be my epitaph:

"Living is
A thing you do.
Now or never?
Which do you?"
~ Piet Hein

I wish you joy... right now.
Thanks for reading.

peace,
Janice

Welcome the Water Dragon!

Happy Lunar New Year!

According to the Chinese, this year we will experience good luck in comparison to the mixed bag we had in the Year of the Rabbit. Things will get better. Recovery may be slow and yet the chaos in the world should calm down a good bit. All in all, a good year ahead.

In that vein, I have decided to connect more with people, seek out like minds, and generally have more fun doing what I love. This blog is part of that venture & I look forward to connecting with folks & hearing what you think. My goal is to update it weekly. Please check back in & toss in your two cents as you see fit.

peace,

Janice