Pacing

We have been car-less for nearly two weeks now & it has inspired me to review how I move through the world - literally. 

With the exception of short term car rentals on the weekends to enable me to reach my teaching gig, the whole family has been busing everywhere. And one thing, I've learned is that riding public transportation is a very trenchant example of how outlook is everything. 

I have found it to be relaxing and a wonderful way of forcing me to slow down. It also requires me to really decide what is essential that I carry with me. Do I really need to pack for every natural disaster?! I'm sure I can find a place to buy a bandaid if I really need one.

It is also the great equalizer. No matter how you're dressed or where you're going, you are in the same boat/bus with everyone else from every other walk of life. When someone doesn't realize this and fights against it, it also has the power to create camaraderie among the remaining passengers.

One gentleman got on the bus the other day and spent every stop slamming his cane into the ground with aggravation and grumbling at whoever was getting on or off the bus as though they were intentionally going slow in order to make him late. He also barely contained his desire to backseat drive when the bus driver would err on the side of caution. The rest of us at first responded to him in kind, and then with amusement, and finally with offers of help, which he declined. 

In truth, we can either fight against what is - the route the bus is taking, obstacles in our life, someone else's agenda - or we can take the time to be with what is and flow with it as best we can. It doesn't mean we don't continue towards our own destination, it just means we have a better time getting there. 

A friend of mine is currently in the hospital with a severe emphysema attack and we talk about his allowing his body to relax rather than strain against the constriction in his breathing. Tensing against it only makes it worse. I know this from my own asthma attacks in the past. My friend says that when he manages to "take himself to the Grand Canyon" and "breath the big sky", his lungs relax a bit and it is the tiniest bit easier to breathe. He is still up against a terrible illness... and he is practicing flowing with it as best he can.

I think of him, as I sit on the bus, wanting it to move faster to get me where I'm going. And I relax, sit back, and enjoy the ride.

Recent Reminders

My own acupuncturist & mentor said to me the other day, “There is nothing in the ancient texts about doing things! It’s all about being. We’re all really just here hanging out between birth & death.”

And he’s right. I had gotten all caught up in my to-do list and a sense of scarcity rather than abundance.

The fact is that there will still be things on the list when we die. There will still be dirty laundry.

And my life is rich with love and possibility.

That’s not to say that there’s not work to be done, food to be prepared, household chores to be maintained... and yet, it’s a completely different approach to think, I’ll just do a few of these things while I’m here hanging out between birth and death.

My 6 yr old son has just started taking capoiera lessons. He loves it. One thing his teacher stresses is the difference between being ice and being water. Ice resists things and gets hurt in the process. Water lets things flow through and around it and remains flexible. Now when we begin to have cross words in our house, my son will say to me, “Momma, be water.” And he’s right. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have to teach him things and guide him toward more positive behavior. It’s the way that I do it that makes the difference. And water gets a much better response than ice – as is true with any of us.

The Tao Teh Ching, chapter 8, begins by saying: “The highest form of goodness is like water. Water knows how to benefit all things without striving with them.”

So, as we face the energetic beginning of Summer this Saturday (May 5^th), I wish for us all a babbling brook of activity and joy and love while we’re hanging out here between birth and death.

Enjoy.