Who Has The Time?

I've been thinking a lot about time lately. When I was little, I'd asked my dad what he wanted for a present and he's always laugh and say, "time". So, one year, I bought him a bottle of "thyme" as a joke - not really understanding why he felt like he had so little.

Later in life, as many of us finally got around to having children in our 40's, I can remember my friend, Steve's remark after the birth of his first child: "Ohmygod, the time I wasted! What was I doing with myself all those years?!"

Now, I've reached a point in my life where I'm beginning to understand how my dad felt. And I am seeking to recapture that sense of timelessness that I had when I was younger. As children, an afternoon lasts a lifetime. Next week might as well be next year. And a year... well, that's an eternity. Children are present to the joy of being alive on a moment by moment basis.

I look at the ever growing "List of Things To Do" and despair of having the time to get it all done. Am I just cramming more into my day? or am I not drilling down into each moment for all its worth? I have a sneaking suspicion that it's the latter. And I know I'm not alone.

As adults, we find ourselves ever tilting forward towards life. "I can't wait for the weekend." "When I retire, I'm going to..." "In my next career...." And the days just blur by, we're exhausted, and we miss so much... until the future finally begins to look a lot shorter and a bit scarier, and we find ourselves looking back. What did we do with all that time? Where were we? Racing to the future. Trapped in the past. Somewhere in between.

Every time my son tells me he hates my cell phone (because I'm often leashed to it), I am reminded of my mother's main piece of parenting advice, "Give your children your time." Life happens right now. In this moment. Don't miss it.

Put down the cell phone and schedule joy first. This is my reminder to myself.

I tell my patients this kind of stuff all the time and I need to hear it too. Today, it was from a patient, who shared his new list of goals with me. They are:

1) Be one with his environment.
2) Understand what people tell and show you, not what you want to see.
3) Be inquisitive.
4) Seek pleasurable experiences.
5) Try new things.

If not now, when?

I'll close with my favorite quote - one that I hope will be my epitaph:

"Living is
A thing you do.
Now or never?
Which do you?"
~ Piet Hein

I wish you joy... right now.
Thanks for reading.

peace,
Janice